Home

ebony birds threading the fading horizon

a hem to heaven

weaving a passage for the wanderer, the saint, the sinner

i find my way home.

-Jan Avellana Hongo

Sidewalk

One day you will run out of sidewalk And you don’t be able to run away from yourself anymore. You’ll sit on the pavement, Burning a hole through your paint splattered jeans Just you and the weeds, looking at one another in silence Both of you wondering, “How did I get here?”

“How do I live a different life?” You will ask the weed and it will not answer (it is a weed). So you will make your way and be off, Holey pants and all, Too, so, damned tired to care anymore Spent from trying to figure out the unfigureoutable tangle that is your life (However did you get that thought planted in your mind that there are answers anyways?) and you will find that thing, that doohickey whatchamacalit that makes the whizzy thing work and then you can lay down and die in peace finally, But not til then, Not til then.

-Jan Avellana Hongo, 2023

Back in the Saddle Again

I made it to work today. Go me.

I'm back in the saddle again. I'm a bundle of tangled yarn today peeps, a small mess of a human being full of anxieties and insecurities, propelled forward by cold, black coffee and a pocketful of hopes. Not only am I facing re-entry to the job, but I am also nursing a vulnerability hangover from yesterday's post. As difficult as it is, these feelings of rawness tell me I'm on the right path as a creative. If I want this life, I have to (I get to) keep putting myself out there over and over again. It's nerve wracking, but there is joy here too, the joy of living with courage and the joy of connection with other like-minded souls--that's how I know it's true and right.

I'm going to make it into the studio today after work. It will be my reward for coming back to work today. Cheer me on in if you want--it doesn't matter what I create, just that I sit my butt down in that chair and put in the time.

Okay, deep breaths. I'm taking baby steps forward. How are you living your one precious life today? <3