Keep Moving Forward

I wouldn't say I'm flying, but I'm definitely moving forward, even if I am more like an inchworm than a bird! I'm enjoying making art and writing a bit each day. There's a deep, comforting peacefulness when I'm creating, even in the midst of the sometimes artist's angst.

My husband is my greatest supporter and cheerleader. When I told him I was nervous about my next steps, he told me "Just move forward. God will take care of the rest." It was like salve to a throbbing wound. And so I did the next scary thing!

I'm officially a student in the Storyteller Academy, where I will learn to write and maybe illustrate children's books. This has been a lifelong dream and I'm finally taking steps towards fulfilling it. I'm so nervous and giddy and I can't wait to dive in to see where this all leads. I'm scared and excited and anxious and happy, all at once! I hope you'll follow me along in my journey :). If you want to get updates from the blog to your inbox, you can subscribe to my blog here. Signing up will notify you when I have a new post up on the blog (or if I ever send out a newsletter!) by alerting your inbox, so it makes it easy for you to keep abreast of all that's going on with me and my creative life! Hugs and yay, here we go!

Pigtails

today i brushed a girl’s

headful of knotted hair

her pigtails were askew

did daddy do your hair this morning or did you i asked

(because mom is no more)

i did it she said

come here i said

bring your brush

and she did

and i brushed her hair and talked with her

in the middle of class

during the morning chaos

and other little girls looked at us and wanted me to brush them out too

but you have mommies i wanted to tell them

i’m not brushing hair i wanted to say

or making perfect pigtails

i am trying trying to mother her

to say i’m so sorry sorry sorry your momma is gone forever

brush brush brush

here is a bandaid for your gushing wound

but here are hair elastics instead of a tourniquet

i tied looped them over and over and over again just so

and i stroked her head and hugged her

and i don’t know if she felt anything or if i’m making a difference

(am i)

but what else do you do when you see a headful of matted hair

and two ponytails askew

-Jan Avellana, 2018

The Ground Soaked Through

Be Practical and her sister Be Realistic

welcome the

dousing of rain

because

it waters

the plants,

feeds the rivers

and

the birds need it

so.

but i,

i

welcome

the rain

because it is

the rain.

she with

her

pitter-pattering lullabye,

sung

drop by drop

on the tin roofed houses,

and the ground,

sloshed in drunkenness—

there my old dreams

and wishes

are alive,

flourishing,

frolicking naked,

in

the ground soaked through

-Jan Avellana, 2018